Riff's Bar, Swindon

De Boerderij, Zoetermeer, Netherlands

So, here I am once more...

Those immortal words defined my teenage years when I was younger, so it was not surprising that I jumped, leapt even, at the chance of catching my old mate Mick Pointer, when he and a group of progchums, set up their tour of classic Script For A Jester's Tear material.

I leapt even further when I heard that they would be opening their European tour at the Mecca of Prog, De Boerderij in Zoetermeer and booked my flight that very night.

Then they announced a warm-up date at the intimate Riff's Bar just outside Swindon and after a raft of indecision me and Gordon decided to go to this one on the day.

This meant that I had to get a train from London to Swindon which cost an amazing £50! I was gobsmacked at paying nearly £1 a minute to use public transport, especially when my return flight to Amsterdam had only cost £58. Not only that, but we were kept hanging around at Paddington for an extra 30 minutes, while a slow train inched its way to Reading. That tells you what is wrong with this country, there's no incentive to use so-called "public" transport!

A similar journey in Holland, from Schipol Airport to Den Haag cost €7.90. It makes my blood boil.

Still, I had my own bit of rebellion on the way to Swindon by "forgetting" to plug my headphones in thus treating the carriage to the opening minute of "Script...".

Gordon picked me up from the station and we made our way to the pub where we were greeted by Paddy from The Urbane who was on car parking duties. Then, after paying our £12 to a cheerful looking Wilcey we slipped inside where we were greeted by Sian and Sally. "The kids are in the bar" I was told so I went straight in, thinking I'd get a word with the band beforehand. But to my surprise, and my bank manager's chagrin, it was my kids, who kept pumping me for "£1 for the quiz machine" every couple of minutes. I'll have to teach then how to steal money from old people. I did buy them "Oliver Twist!" on DVD but they never got the idea.

Soon it was time.

The band strode purposefully onto the stage and struck up the opening chord to Script For A Jester's Tear as Brian Cummings came out, complete in his Fish'83 regalia including face paint and baggy pj's and sung those immortal words "So here I am once more...". Any scepticism the crowd had was blown away in that instant and they launched into the song with bisto. They carried on through the rest of the album with Mick Pointer on drums looking like he'd never been away, and during the show I reflected on that night in McDonalds 19 years ago and thought "I wish I'd got him to do my kitchen".

He Knows You Know was introduced with the "We could have been on Top of the Pops with this" intro, with Brian doing a sterling job of being Fish. Though it must be said that on Wednesday he did drop back into his Scouse accent quite a bit.

The Web was performed including the rubber plant abuse. But all you outraged botanists out there, calm down, don't write to your MP's yet, as it was a plastic rubber plant.

Garden Party was greeted with a huge roar as it took us back to a time when we were allowed to shout "fucking" loudly. Or "miming" if you were at the Beeb.

As this is a Script show, the next song was Chelsea Monday. I've always liked the way they ran from Garden Party into Market Square Heroes as on Real to Reel. But that was the Fugazi tour, so unlikely to happen.

Forgotten Sons finishes the album, as if you didn't know, this saw Brian don flack jacket and helmet and machine gun the audience.. Mick's drumming was spot on and Nick Barratt nailed Steve R's solos. "Farty" Mike Varty did "Smelly" Mark Kelly's job well and Ian Salmon could have been "Peddle-Power" Pete Trewavas. If he were shorter and had a mass of curly black hair.

But that wasn't all. Just because they'd done all the album tracks, they couldn't go home safe in the knowledge that they'd given over 150 people the best rollicking night of their lives, oh no. So the band played on, first of all with the classic b-side Three Boats Down From The Candy which was followed by the "A trip round Europe" song Charting The Single.

Then came the moment many of us had been waiting for. With very little preamble, the crowd grew hushed as Nick picked out the seldom heard intro to Grendel. For the next 20 minutes we were treated to a band in full flow. One of the biggest cheers of the night was reserved for the appearance of the infamous Grendel mask. I know that this was only a replica, the real one having been given to an Italian tribute act, but I also know that hours of blood, sweat and tears, not to mention multiple viewings of the Recital Of The Script DVD had gone into its manufacture.

There's only one way to follow Grendel, and so they launched into Market Square Heroes. 9 months ago I'd seen Fish performing this in the actual Aylesbury Market Square with his old Marillion mates, and I remember thinking that the only thing missing was Mick on drums. Well tonight was the missing piece in the jigsaw. The crowd sung, jumped, fisted, shouted "Yeah" and even flicked V signs like they were teenagers again.

But even though they left the stage to rapturous applause after that, there was still the deserved encore of Margaret to come, where, true to history, the band got their introductions.

We couldn't hang for long after the show as I had to be up early in the morning so we said our cheerio’s and departed into the night, satisfied..

The next morning I set off bright and early for my cheap flight to Amsterdam.

Celeb News: I. bumped into comedienne and large scary girl Jo Brand at the airport. Not literally of course, as I’d now be dead. Anyway I tried to update my Facebook there and then so all my friends could see how lame I really am, but then my flight got called so didn't. Maybe it wasn't even her, but you don't in up to someone and ask them if they're Jo Brand, do you. Just in case she isn't and didn't realise how ugly she was.

The flight itself was a bit wobbly - at one point we suddenly dropped over 1 metre without warning. It was the scariest thing to happen to me since I’d met Jo Brand over half an hour earlier. Still, it was embarrassing when people clapped the pilot when we landed without being killed.

I was on a tight schedule this time so I went straight to Den Haag where I met the Dutchess of Prog. You're not interested in the details of my afternoon, suffice to say that I now know that Dutch kids are taught to sing of their love for cans of beer, or blik bier as they say over there..

We got to De Boerderij in plenty of time to be greeted by a nervous looking Arie. I tried to calm his worries by telling him how good it had been at Riff's just the night before, then hit the bar where I bumped into Stuart Cormie, who some of you will know from the Galahad mailing list, and big Marillion/Fish fan Janke.

We had a few beers at the bar then support act Kramer started up. I had accidentally missed the Amsterdam-based boys when they played Wath last year, and I knew I wouldn't be able to make any of their gigs in the UK in April neither so I made sure that I paid attention.

And I was well rewarded as the band played an excellent set based around their new Life Cycle CD which I bought after the gig. Unfortunately my camera's battery ran out so I couldn't get any poor quality photos like I normally do.

Keyboard player Marc Besselink sings, which I always find a bit disconcerting, but he has a great voice. The rest of the band - Rob de Jong on guitar, Jeroen Vriend on bass and Harald Veenker on drums - all played their parts well and they got a decent response from the crowd.

But just as when you go to Pizza Hut, no matter what you tell yourself about the salad bar, you've only gone for the meat laden triple cheese heart-attack inducing 15" special, so the crowd had only really come for one thing.

And they didn't have long to wait.

We made our way closer to the front. The band looked a touch apprehensive as they came on to the stage. Last nights warm up must have done their confidence a power of good, but tonight was the real thing, in front of a knowledgeable and passionate crowd, on the same stage that Fish, Marillion and even Steve Hogarth had trodden within the last six months.

But as the crowd belted out the opening lines to Script..., you could see the grins spreading across their faces! The set was the same as before, which is to be as expected. This time Brian, the Uber Scouse, kept up the Scottish brogue all the way through the gig, engaging in several ad libs all well as a smattering of Fishisms.

Despite being well enthusiastic the crowd were also very respectful, by witnessed in Forgotten Sons were they kept absolutely quiet during the "approach... friend" section, earning a round of applause from Brian.

After the gig I had a quick chat with the lads from Kramer about their forthcoming UK tour, before heading back upstairs to the bar area where I bumped into Mick and Arie, who had the biggest smile I'd seen him wear since... well, let's not go there... Anyway it was a big smile which was matched by Mick's one. I had a chat to Brian, told him about the way Fish introduced Three Boats as being about "Fucks on beaches", then with Ian Salmon, Nick Barratt and Paddy before they had to leave for Germany.

We hung around in the car for another couple of hours, scarcely able to comprehend what we had seen, before it was time to melt away into the early morning light.

The tour is probably over by the time you read this, with just a festival date at Minnuendo in Spain to come, but I've heard talk of more dates to be booked, including some more UK gigs. make sure you don't miss out next time.